i loved the movie 'juno'. you should see it, although if you haven't by now something must be wrong with you. haha. i identified with that movie in a lot more ways then i thought i would. it was really strange.

maybe this film got me thinking about pregnancy and babies. suddenly pregnancy and young mothers have been popping in the media lately in my eyes. i randomly ended up at a park in irvine on a swing when a family came over to celebrate a girls first birthday. so there is the 1 year old girl on the swing beside me. i felt a few things. like how i shouldn't lose my child innocence. second, i'm growing up. third, i want a baby of my own one day.

this weird feeling of wanting a baby is quite random. but to think about it, i've always known i wanted children and always knew that one day i will become a mother. don't worry, i can insure you that my plans do not include a baby for the next few years. and it just makes me think how we continue to grow and change identities. i'm going through the crazy soul and career searching fight for independence early 20s phase.
who knows what is ahead of me? i can't plan everything.

Finding Quality Men in this town

isn't it fun to just have a crush for a distraction? i miss crushes. i guess i just miss liking guys. i feel like it's been awhile since i've liked someone. really long since i REALLY liked someone.
a girl asked me, "are you single and happy or single and looking?"
well, i thought, i'm not single and looking, but am i happy?
and for the most part i am happy with being single. but let's be real, if you met someone great, you both clicked, would you really want to stay single?

so the question, how do i meet men?
off the top of my head, the prime targets:
-through friends
-never really was hopeful with this option
-work
- i work in female-ville. so unless i want to date someone younger or way older, i'm at a lost.
-some sort of extra-curricular activity
- again limited as i do few extra curricular activities anymore. i'm no longer active in social/cultural clubs, sports, or go to church or anything like that.
-from online
- i have considered this option but decided to put that on hold til i really want to go for it. i've looked at some dating sites for fun and even that, i realized something. i'm really picky and judgmental. i'm just judging from a profile pic and what their profile says and there are a few that interest me. and really, you can't tell how you interact with someone unless you meet them in person. although that's not really the case anymore in this cyber-age.
-some of the places i frequent (i.e. restaurants, clothing stores, amoeba)
- i don't have the lucky quality of my sister being cute and flirty to stranger guys, so i don't get guys throwing out their number to me as i shop at the market. i have seen it happen to my sister, and i am amazed and creeped out at the same time.
-the nightclub and bar
- it's really sad is that this is the most likely place that i do meet guys and usually has to do in an under the influence state, with dark lighting, and with other false pretenses (like how we are dressed at our best/sluttiest at these things). and i come with a bad attitude, i don't want to meet my future boyfriend from a club.

OK, as i wrote these things i realized a problem. The problem is MY ATTITUDE. i keep stressing the importance of your perspective going into something, and look at my attitude towards finding a man in l.a. I 'm very pessimistic. I practically think it's impossible to meet quality men in l.a. The times that i do meet some cool guys or cool people in general is when i'm feeling positive, friendly, and socialable.

okay, so conclusion. be more optimistic. bring a positive mindset and actually make an effort to find love. LOVE?! well not to find love, just to find some interesting cool people in general that i would like to spend some time with. Most important, i need to bring on the confidence and friendliness. never an easy task.

explore l.a.

i went to this cool night out at the natural history museum in l.a. to see bands, afternoon and sea wolf on a rainy day. it was such a peaceful, relaxing and beautiful show.
it's funny how well of a time you have is pretermined by the outlook that you already have. before i would hate the rain, not want to go out, and stay in. but now i'm learning to appreciate the rain and it was actually fun to take the journey through the rain. it was even fun trying to cross the huge puddles of water to the parking lot.
i'm telling you, positive outlook is everything.
and speaking of positive outlook, i'm really starting to appreciate los angeles. i've embraced it. i'm trying to disect it, and make it my own.
afterward, we had to hit up chano's for the yummy yummy chili cheese fries. the more i think about it, the more i feel lucky to be where i am and live in this crazy place. when i was in vegas, i was actually starting to miss l.a.
so my advice, go out there and explore l.a. or whatever town that you currently are in. there are a million things happening around you, and it's up to you to take advantage of it.
places to start looking, www.yelp.com, www.going.com, www.laweekly.com

A Brand New Year, A Fresh Start

welcome to my new blog! a new year, a fresh start will be my attitude for this year. i spent my new year's in las vegas! the city of sin, vice, and a place to act on your desires. "what happens in vegas, stays in vegas" is a great motto for this place cuz i think we all need a place to go and get crazy sometimes. we spend so much time following the norm, doing what is expected of us, being responsible and so forth. but we're only human. and humans deserve some fun!
my trip resulted in having one of the worse partying experiences to one of the most memorable. and i think that helped me sum up my year and my outlook on life. you can't let the bad stuff stop you. stop and think about your actions and how you can approve, and then get back out there.